I always fall in love with my friends and they never feel the same, so I’ve learned not to tell them to save myself from rejection and embarrassment.
“Oh you’re so funny and such a great friend, I’d hate to ruin our friendship, we’ve been friends for so long.”
Yeah yeah yeah, I’ve heard it all before like nails on a chalkboard. A good friend but never girlfriend material. It would take me awhile to get over it, crushes for me last around years, but I would. Now I’ve dated, it never lasted because when you have this mentality that no one will ever love you cause you’re in a wheelchair, it can put a damper on things, and when you’re partners have told you that too, that you can’t satisfy them enough you’ll start to believe it , and I hate my CP for that reason, it’s very visible and for a long time and even now that’s all people could and can see. I remember asking this boy I liked in 8th grade to a dance, he laughed and said, “ I don’t wanna have sex with a wheelchair” that stuck with me still til this day I almost cried at school but I didn’t
When your 8th grade teacher goes around the room asking everyone who has had their first kiss yet, asking everyone in class except for you, because how could a girl in wheelchair date? For some reason the concept makes able bodied people’s heads explode, mind you I had my first kiss when I was 11, but if I had confronted my teacher about it I would’ve gotten some lame excuse like
“Oh, well…. I just thought you were too smart for that kind of stuff.”
A similar experience happened my second year of college, I was in my first relationship and my professor went around the room asking everyone if they had a partner, I was really excited because I actually did have a partner but, he asked everyone except for me. I thought it was odd but I made it very clear that I was dating, but why should I have to explain myself just so people wouldn’t assume things, why should disabled people feel like they’re being excluded from modern dating, I’m human I like dating, I like sex just as much as able bodied people do. I like people a lot I wished they liked me too. I have a lot to offer.
Falling In Love With A Chair by Christina Suraci